Monday, October 26, 2009

Newsflash

I have breasts! Yes, I know this is news because certain peers have peculiar reactions when they're noticeable (as in, whenever I'm not dressed like a box or they can see me).
Yes, I realize that my voluptuous knockers might be hard to ignore, but I have a request:

When you're talking to me, my eyes and mouth are on my face, not on them. Please look at my face and talk to me, not at my boobs.

I have actually conducted a sort of experiment on my peers, which, admittedly isn't very scientific, but has a point!
I've been keeping track of conversation topics with my peers and how "aggressively" they attempt to talk to me based on what I'm wearing. The results are shocking! I swear, you're mind will be blown away!
When I'm in clothes that hide my figure, my peers are less aggressive about talking to me and the conversation normally sticks to our classes, TV shows, or funny stories.
When I'm in clothes that show figure (ie, you can tell I have a butt and/or breasts), my peers are much more aggressive about wanting to talk to me, and the conversations drift into how "totes awesome" they are, sex, how macho they are...

I know. Shocking, right?

Now, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt to my peers and assume that their subconscious is really the cause of this phenomenon. But now that you know, knock it off. I don't want to talk about certain things with you. My boobs are not on display for you. I am your peer, damnit, not some piece of meat for you to ogle. I refuse to dress in cardboard boxes to have serious conversations/conversations that don't revolve around sex or how awesome you are. You think you're awesome? Great. Stop telling me.

Recap: Stop staring at my boobs. I am a human being.

"But, mocha!" some of you may cry "they are just so hard to not look at!"

Get some self control and stop thinking with your pants. If you are unable to do this, I am willing to slap you into reality for free. If, for some reason, that doesn't help, I suggest some therapy.

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