Monday, October 12, 2009

Clarifications

So, apparently I need to blatantly state things.

1. When I wrote that lovely rant which is getting "Hell yeah!"s and "You bitch!"s (and nothing in between) I was not mad at my peers. No, I was mad at their ignorance, at society for allowing them to be ignorant, at society encouraging them to be ignorant. I was mad at the institution. I genuinely believed that my peers were simply misinformed. It was not pointed at any single person or action, but rather was the explosion of my frustration. Granted, what I wrote was not the most civil thing on the planet, but it made people think (at least, I hope).

That being said, some took it as a blatant attack on them, which if they felt guilty and realized I was calling them out, then I hope they understand that I was, even if it wasn't originally directed at them.

There was one comment that I received from a peer with regards to this previous post, that I think needs to be expanded upon.

This peer, after reassurance that I wasn't mad at them, stated that all feminists are "femnazi bitches who never get laid." Excuse me?

Let's disect this assessment by my peer to understand why I am now mad at them!

First of all, it's a whopping generalization. While some generalizations help us as humans understand information (such as, women have long hair) it does not make them correct (because I know plenty of men who have long hair, and plenty of women who have short hair). Does this mean that no one fits the generalization? Absolutely not. The problem arises when it goes from someone specific to a mass population. In the case of my peer, I think he meant that I was a femnazi bitch who never gets laid, not the masses of feminists. But, society has taught people that "feminists" are the women who hate men, refuse to be "feminine", for some value of feminine, and apparently hate sex. Who knew!

Let's move on to another problem with his assessment: femnazi. What does that even mean? That I'm nazi like because I demand human decency? Umm...news flash, I think that's kinda sorta nothing like being a nazi. By pointing out how your actions can cause direct harm to others, I'm not harming anyone. If you feel guilt from me pointing it out, that's because you've done something wrong, not because I'm some "femnazi".

Which brings me to the word "bitch". This word and it's use, especially by people like my peer in the context provided, it one of the many reasons feminism needs to exist. I am not a "bitch" for pointing out facts. No person is "bitchy" for requesting to be treated like a human. I do not belong to anyone and no person should own another. The use of the word it degrading, saying that I'm sub human, supposedly for being female, and apparently, for asking to be treated as the human that I am.

As for feminists never getting laid, well, I think this peer is misinformed. Feminists are in relationships all the time and can totally sex it up whenever they wish. I personally think this was his reasoning for feminists being so "bitchy" and total "femnazis", because, you know, not having sex totally makes every person RAGE all the time.

2. If you confront me about my blog in meatspace, I will probably not flat out tell you that I'm the author. I request a safety bubble, a place to rant and rave and not be judged. Sure, you can leave comments or tell me how shitty I am in person. I reserve the right to ignore you or write a post that mentions the thoughtless and reckless stuff you say.

I reserve the right to take any and all crap that comes my way that I want to, because I personally have to deal with it on a day by day basis. If you have a problem with how I handle it, leave, or find a better way to handle it yourself, because I get to handle all the shit the world throws at me on my terms.

3. If you haven't noticed, I'm not that great at telling people when I have a problem with the way they act. This comes from many bad reactions to me telling someone offhanded that they're being a threatening jerk, to their face, and getting screamed at. So, I'm sorry if I have to tell you you're a threatening jerk through text, but I'm tired of getting screamed at and having people becoming more threatening in a face to face encounter. I'm tired of trying to inform people that "you frankly creep me out and terrify me" in a nice way, because that's how they want to receive it. There is no nice way to tell you. Wondering why no one told you before? It's because you frankly creep everyone out and terrify them and no one wants to tell you because they're scared you'll become more threatening when they tell you because you'll get all defensive. And you do get defensive. Not just sorta defensive, but the "Holy shit. RUN!" defensive, the kind of defensive that makes people terrified of you in the first place.

The other reason I personally refuse to tell people to their faces in the heat of the moment, is that I nervous that I'm the only one who sees it. Being surrounded my males most my life, I've aways been told that I'm too sensitive, so I constantly wonder if I'm misreading the signals. As I've been finding out lately, I'm not misreading much, but I always like to confer with others that my gut is correct and maybe pick up on other possible meanings.

I'm sure there's lots I've missed, much to be added, and much more to be revised, but it's a start.

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